Holy shit! Thirty-Three!!

This piece is best enjoyed while listening to the song "Sister Song" by Perfume Genius - https://open.spotify.com/track/737dVcmAy2jnbaq2eHIAaJ?si=43a91f6422ee4471

Hey,

I won’t bore you with all the sappy birthday-blue stuff. Life still sucks. I’m still unemployed. I’m still in love with six women. I still have like five more women I want to put a baby in me. My writing is still meh. I still feel as though my dad is edging closer to revealing that he has been a secret billionaire all this time and was testing my mental resolve and patience. I still don’t give a fuck about you if you hate LGBTQAI people. I still think your pastors are charlatans. I still want to open my OnlyFans and show off my body. I still hate what Nigerian has made me become.

But, I’m still a bit grateful I get to be here for another trip around the sun. Another trip that could be one of endless bliss or continuous torment. As the philosopher Forrest Gump would say, “Life’s like a bag of chocolates, you don’t know what you’re gonna get.” I like the mystery of that. I dare myself to keep going on to see if anything changes. I dare myself to hang on a little bit closer to those I love and cherish, hoping to keep loving and cherishing them for another year and then another, until we get to that inevitable exit that comes for us all. 

At thirty-three, Jesus was about to fuck the Romans and Jews up with his gospels. At thirty-three, I co-authored my gospel called “Gospel of Sex.” I won’t beg anyone to buy but I would say this:

Verily, I say unto you, if you like reading, know that I love writing what you can read and despite the flurry of rejections that have doused my body this past year, I stay writing and churning out the sort of stories I hope someone feels worthy enough to tell.

So, for my birthday, the one gift I ask —besides all the money you should already send— is that you support my stories by purchasing my works.

And hopefully, I get to come around here next year, and maybe tell another tale again.

Cheers, from thirty-three. Let’s see what this one brings!!