Letters of Love #5 —ToMi
This article is best enjoyed whilst listening to the song “You Were Born" by Clout Cult - https://youtu.be/mHpH-aQHRsk
Hey Tomi,
It took a while to come up with this. I got stuck. I felt as though these letters fell short of my admiration for you. It felt almost like a parody of what the truth is. I hate that this is the best I can offer you; that these are my gifts —letters of love and nothing more.
Maybe I am overthinking shit. Maybe, as opposed to being a bore, these letters do make you feel as loved as I would hope a trip to the Bahamas would. However, since I can’t know for sure until I am able to afford such a trip, I’ll have to settle with being optimistic —optimistic that these letters can be somewhat as valuable as the kindness you have shown me.
I’d like to be optimistic that these words mean something. Yet, at this moment, I feel as though for you, it’s too little. It doesn’t feel sufficient. It seems to lack any depth in brazenly expressing how grateful I am to have met and known you. It falls short of how in awe I tend to always be whenever I have to reminisce on our earlier days of friendship.
The other day, I was going through Google Photos and I came across screenshots of you and me on a video call during my birthday two years back. I remember how much of that day was going to shit until that call. I remember laughing heartily at your jokes even though I’d be the first to claim that you aren’t that funny. It brought tears to my eyes just knowing how lucky I have been to have met you.
It brought tears to my eyes just knowing how lucky I have been to have met you.
And maybe that’s what saddens me. The fact that I feel so lucky knowing you but not sure if, as a friend, I have done enough to make you feel as lucky having known me. Been out of a job for months now and you have been my sustenance. Yet, I remember days when you cried to me over the phone, and the only words of comfort I, teary-eyed, have been able to offer was the perfunctory “Pele.”
I hate that distance has made our friendship sometimes feel so tough. And despite how often we never let the distance seem like an issue, I sometimes daydream about what it would mean to be there with you; to hug you when you need one. I imagine how it would feel to get a sense that I was indeed worthy of your amazing friendship.
But I know this is all just in my head. Knowing you, you are not even bothered about any of this. All you want and have always wanted for those you care about is for us to be happy and thriving. And I can’t wait for the tides to take a turn for the good in my life, just so I can send you a bouquet to say “Thank you for everything, Tomi!”
Soon, I hope. Very soon. For now, these letters would have to do. Happy birthday countdown, Tomi. Love you as infinite as the expanse of space, time, and the continuum.
Until the next one,
Cheers!!