On: Intrinsic Optimism
This article is best enjoyed whilst listening to the song “Hope” by Old Sea Brigade - https://youtu.be/a2hvgn5cozA
If you’re reading this then it’s not too late to believe there is a better tomorrow. We all know this deep down —somewhat— but it bears repeating. Most of us have been bathed with this sense of optimism, which is only often marred by our own limitations. If like me, you were raised in a religious household, then this optimism I speak of is even more prevalent in your life than you may have cared to take notice of. Even when —like me— you may choose to no longer hold on to the tenets of the faith that raised you, it never goes away. It’s that silent prayer you utter in your darkest moments. Even when you don’t believe that prayer necessarily goes anywhere. It’s that murmur of hope that trails your fearful thoughts.
I have now left religion for the better part of three years. I still find myself slipping back into the habit of seeking this sense of optimism. At first, it felt like a betrayal of my atheistic tendencies. It almost felt hypocritical too. I often would find myself wondering “How can you be this optimistic and still say you don’t believe in a God?” And I know there are a lot of people who might find it hypocritical as well. But as time passed and my feet found a firmer footing in my disbelief, I came to understand that this part of my experience was as human as any other feeling I may have in the past thought was brought about by a religious background. Turns out, even in the absence of faith, belief can still thrive.
Being irreligious definitely meant having to unlearn a lot of things. I remember feeling a wave of guilt whenever I would respond to my mother’s prayers for me over the phone with an “Amen”. It felt like the efficacy of her prayers was reduced to naught because of my disbelief. Thankfully, more unlearning was enough to help me realize certain truths. One such truth was that for my mother, her prayers were as effective as her resolve in believing that a carpenter from Israel died for the sins of the whole world. As such, whenever she prayed, she didn’t necessarily need my “Amen” except as a way to let her know I was still there listening. Her belief was enough to let her know that her prayers had reached their intended target. And as long as she believed they did, they did.
This realization about my mother's prayers helped. I was able to understand that I didn’t necessarily have to be nihilistic in my unbelief. The optimism I felt was given to me by religion was not. It was intrinsically human. As a species, we have always thrived on this same intrinsic optimism that predates our creation of religion. Armed with it, we are able to risk taking wobbly baby steps that over time turn into giant strides. How else would the first men have found the resolve to go back into the wild to hunt after their first expedition must have certainly ended in a lot of casualties? Yes, one would say they really didn’t have many other options for survival. However, saying that would be ignoring how profound it was that even with their limited options, they still chose intrinsic optimism. They chose to believe that their next expedition would be better than the last —even if it likely wasn’t.
On my saddest days, the one thing that helps me is often the minuscule possibility that maybe the sadness of my present moment might not exist tomorrow. Even when depression has me by the throat, there’s still that little sense of solace that reminds me that eventually, all tears become vapor. For religious folks, this sense of optimism might manifest itself in a much different way. For me, however, it comes in tiny, capturable moments. It’s subtle. It’s that sudden shift in my mood when electricity is restored in my apartment (Nigerians will understand this better). Other times it can be the warmth of an appreciative “thank you” for the littlest of gestures. Sometimes it can come in the form of big wins too —a career change, a promotion, a new car, a new apartment, a proposal from your significant other, etc.
Nevertheless, as cool as it is to know that we all have this ingrained in us, it also helps to note that not everyone has the wherewithal to find strength in it as we might. On some days, for me, I hate how deceitful the musing of better days ahead is, especially when the present feels like endless torture. And I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to feel this way too. No one expects you to be a constant snowball of optimism rolling down the mountain of life’s travails, gathering everything up with cheer and aplomb. It’s okay to be sad, cynical, scared, worried, and feel every other thing that seems to be polar opposites to this very sense of intrinsic optimism. It’s okay to call it quits when it all gets too much.
However, one thing worth noting in all of this is that despite how natural this feeling of optimism seems, how we react to it is still within our control. We can still choose to say “amen” to that prayer and not consider it hypocritical. We can choose to break into a fit of laughter in the midst of a terrible day at the office. We can choose to hide our sorrows in a vice or two. It doesn’t matter. What matters is knowing that our choices never affect the presence of this intrinsic feeling. It’s always going to be there reminding us that tomorrow often arrives just in time to ensure today’s pain can become a memory. More importantly, it lets us know that even when tomorrow doesn’t bring the expected respite, it is within our rights to always want and expect a better tomorrow. And a better tomorrow is not a date or time, it’s a process —a journey.
Safe travels.
A very good essay on optimism I must say. Doubt isn't restricted to theists or atheists, neither are the other emotional reactions we have to chemicals doing what they do in our brains. It is important for all of us to understand our body and know how we feel. Religion or not, we have to deal with our anxieties, fears and hopes. Overtime religion has in addition to its goal (whatever it may be) provided succour and steps for its adherents in dealing with these things. Some of these steps have overtime became culture or have been influenced by culture that even non adherents "unknowingly" abide by. It may seem like you're learning to walk again when you want to distance yourself from certain steps you are used to and then when you return you rationalize it. There's nothing wrong in that and it may lead you to ask the real question as to "what does religion actually provide". Remain blessed bro. Peace.