On: New Rihanna, Old Me
This article is best enjoyed whilst listening to the song “Lift Me Up by Rihanna - https://youtu.be/uz2-eYojYAM
If you haven’t been living under the rock these past few days, then you’d know that today the world changed. Something shifted in the cosmos and our reality became —slightly— fenti-er. Global superstar, business mogul and part-time musician, Robyn Fenty aka Rihanna, dropped new music. It’s her first in six years. Six years is a long time to not do anything musically, especially when that is something most people would generally consider as your “talent”.
But Rihanna decided to shame us all. She decided to be unconventional with it. She chose to redefine “talent” by taking a long hiatus from music. Instead, she chose to go on to build a business empire that continues to rival the best in the industry. And she did all of this —most certainly— with the constant ringing in her ears of people telling her “Hey, what about your music career?” “Hey, I think you should go back to music!” She paid no heed to them. Only when she was ready to return to music did she do so —and it has been glorious so far.
That’s Rihanna though —bold, energetic, incredibly passionate, influential. That’s who she is. And the more I think of it, the more I believe that’s the kind of person most people expect others to be when it comes to taking time off. We often expect that even in taking a break from whatever life has dealt us, we should all still be a little bit like Rihanna and still find pockets of brilliance and ingenuity to thrive in. It is not surprising that you sometimes hear people ask: “So, what else have you been up to?” minutes after just hearing you highlight the not-too-glamorous reel about your mental health woes.
And in all honesty, it isn’t even remotely a bad thing when people do this. People —friends, acquaintances, family— tend to pressurize us into being more than our darkest and dreariest moments. They want us to rise above the pain so we can be better and thrive. It is very human to expect that when someone is at their lowest, the best words aren’t necessarily “Lay down, take a breath and rest”, rather it is, “Dust yourself up, don’t whine, and keep moving.” The idea that perseverance and resilience are virtues that are best embraced by being seemingly dynamic and always on the go, is as old as the age of humanity.
It’s often so easy to tell others “Don’t give up! Keep trying”, when the truth is, sometimes the best thing to say in such moments might be, “Take as much time as you need. Rest. You deserve it.” And I say this because I sincerely believe that maybe, just maybe it is time we stopped making people that are going through hell and high water in their everyday life, feel as though they owe us the strength to keep pushing forward. In truth, maybe it is us that owe them the kindness to letting them know that they also have the choice to rest; to process it all; to take as much time as they need, even when it may feel like doing so might seem like giving up.
Trust me, it is not. And it is my hope that someone reading this gets to understand one simple truth: we can’t all be like Rihanna. We can’t all build an empire of repute from a seeming side-hustle and then return to a heroes welcome like we never broke a sweat. We can’t all be beaten down by life and yet be expected to keep pushing ahead —broken, battered, bruised— unable to take a moment to heal, simply because doing so would feel like a loss. I strongly believe that sometimes the truest evidence of real strength lies in knowing when to raise the white flag.
Surrender is not cowardice. Sometimes in the boxing matchup between us and life, getting back up to fight again and again, no matter how many knockout punches life doles out isn’t necessarily strength. All this does is leave us with more bruises and head traumas to deal with, and a longer wait period to heal. As such, I reckon that sometimes —during such a bout— after a knockout punch or two, it is completely okay if you decide to just lay down on the floor, take a deep breath and let the referee count you out to end the fight. Yes, life wins by a knockout, but so do you too —you survived to fight another day.
Cheers!