Weekly Musings & More...
Come rummage through my head whilst listening to the song “Lovers Without Love" by Joshua James - https://youtu.be/JoLmzXhExUE
Parents & Kids
I have begun to develop a deep appreciation for parents. There’s something innately ennobling about caring for another little person, so much so that you would do anything to give them the best life you think they deserve. It’s dawning on me, the older I get, why having kids is a decision that shouldn’t be left to chance.
I get a sense of how much my parents have had to sacrifice for myself and my siblings, even without having a kid of my own yet; and it’s very daunting. Having to push your own needs to the back burner to give priority to a little person who would much rather throw a tantrum than choose to clearly tell you what bothers them, feels a bit much.
It’s one of the reasons I’m pro-choice. Abort that unwanted pregnancy ladies, if that’s what you want. I support you fully. Do not bring a child into this world just because. It’s silly. I daresay, if our parents had the choice back then, some of us would not be here. And I know pro-lifers often tend to use that sort of supposition as a gotcha point in their arguments, but honestly, being here is not as fun as most people make it out to be.
If I were to choose between being born and being aborted by my mother so she could live her best life, I’d be rooting for her to choose the latter. I sometimes ponder on just how much my parents would have accomplished if they chose to steer away from kids for the best part of their lives. But I guess they’ll never know. But I’m sure deep down, they’d have preferred to have found out for themselves.
Sex & Exercising
I’m trying hard to not think of how little I’ve been able to test the theory that exercising a lot helps with sexual stamina. I’ve been hitting the gym for a while now and I’ve not really been able to see if my active workouts are doing anything to improve my sexual stamina.
Psyche! I’m just kidding. Some weeks ago, I had the privilege of a sexual encounter with a wonderful lady. She confessed during and after the act that I was amazing.
**Pops Collar**
So, yeah, writing this is just me trying to softly brag that I do very well under the sheets. My exercise routines have always paid off. Sadly, I’m now too broke to afford to keep going to the gym for the foreseeable future, which means I might have to come to terms with the fact that my sexual prowess might decline.
Psyche! Just kidding again. I am too good to be bad at sex.
It’s funny how people would say anyone who needs to brag about their sexual prowess most likely does not possess any. Well, I say that such people are most likely virgins. I am here to brag about how good I am at it. I was so good, I didn’t even have to ask her “Have you arrived?” I just knew.
Psyche! kidding again. Sex is bad. Exercising is good. Ha ha.
Unemployment & Esteem
I am still unemployed. My self-esteem has taken a hit due to this predicament. I’m well into the sixth month of being unemployed. I’ve depleted all my savings. I’ve started scrolling through LinkedIn with a scowl on my face, envious of how almost everyone else is getting a new certificate or promotion. I’ve even gotten to the point where I’m actively searching for roles that have nothing to do with any of the experience I have.
It’s sad. I hate feeling inadequate. My younger brother reached out to me the other day asking if I could send him a little cash, and I replied telling him I had nothing to give. Those few lines of text felt like the hardest words I’d ever typed. I’ve always prided myself as the big brother who would always go to the ends of the world to provide for his loved ones. Yet there I was, telling my brother I had nothing to give him. It broke me.
It also broke me when I told a dear friend I hadn’t seen in a long while that we couldn’t meet up for our planned lunch date. The date was my idea. She was understanding. She told me not to dwell too much on it when I explained how embarrassed I was that I had to cancel due to my lack of funds. Comforting as her words were, it still broke me.
Movies & TV
I’ve been seeing a lot of old movies of late. I saw this thread on Twitter about people’s favorite movies for these specific years: 1946, 1956, 1966, 1976, 1986, 1996, 2006, and 2016. I decided to bootleg a couple of the ones listed. It has been an experience. I’ve seen a few that have made me smile, namely “The Fortune Cookie (1966)”, “A Matter of Life and Death (1946)”, “The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)”, and “How to Steal a Million (1966).” The thing about being unemployed is that there is so much time on your hands. And unlike my peers on LinkedIn who are busy getting more certifications, I’ve chosen to dive into old movies.
I also picked up a few TV shows. Mostly Korean dramas. The two I’ve seen are “Moving (2023)” and “Song of the Bandits (2023).” I highly recommend both. Koreans, I think, might be a lot better at storytelling than the Americans. I know, you just rolled your eyes. It’s been cool just being immersed in their culture through their films. I like how they speak —their mannerism, their foods, their sense of self and belief, and all that stuff.
It’s amazing how movies or TV shows claim to help us escape but somehow ensure our feet never leave the ground.
I’ll be seeing more old classic movies this week. I hope I’ll be able to add more from the Twitter thread to my watch list. I hope I’ll find something in them that might inspire me to write my next short story —or at least consider writing one.
That’s about it…
Wishing you all an amazing new week. And to my fellow job seekers, I hope this week brings with it a positive email that isn’t prefaced with “Thank you for your application…” but instead “Congratulations, here’s your offer…”
To everyone else: sex is bad. Exercise is good.
Cheers.